The Secret Diary of Kyle Broflovski
by theredpoofballhat
Summary: Kyle Broflovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.
1. Kyle's Secret

THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE JEW

Chapter 1

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days and 13 hours, 14 minutes and 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it anymore, it's about to get a lot worse. Slash and Het! Pairings: Style, Candy, Benny, Stendy, Staig and love triangles are : Stylendy (KylexStanxWendy), Kytanoken (KylexStanXToken) and Cartendan (CartmanxWendyxStan), Heimandy (HeidixCartmanxWendy) and Kyendman (KylexWendyxCartman) and some Bromance between Kyle and Cartman (Horray for Kyman!). This sounds like a whorefest. But then again, we are in South Park.

Thanks for reading! R&R&R! New chapters go up every couple days!

Alvinroxz

disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

_Tuesday, April 8th. Last Period Physics, 2:45 PM. _

_Dear Journal,_

_Afternoons were unusually loud in South Park. But not this particular afternoon, which happened to be the 150th anniversary of our little mountain town. Shouldn't people be getting wasted in the streets and shouldn't houses be getting vandalized?Why isn't the sidewalk littered with beer can or cigarettes? I mean, this is a total excuse to celebrate. Where is everyone?_

_I'm sorry for that ramble. I feel like because this is a new journal and all, I should be introducing myself and stuff. I'm Kyle Brofslovski, an 12th grade top honors student at South Park High School, a current employee at South Park Bowling Lanes, i'm going to Harvard University in the fall, and I'm completely and utterly in love with my best friend._

_Wow, is that really how I introduce myself? _

_Yes, I'm in love. For the 1st time in my life, i'm in love. With my best friend. Who is a boy. Which means that I'm gay. Except no one knows it yet. Not my dad or especially not my mom, not my friends or my canadian brother. I haven't even said it or written it down yet…until now._

_The only and sole reason I am writing a diary- no a journal- is because my mom is paying me for every entry I make. How sweet is that? I get paid to write a paragraph about my life! She says that I need to "express myself"…she's crazy. No really. She actually almost caused a war between Canada and the USA once. And anyway, I also kinda wanted to talk about the whole-I'm-in-love-with-my-best-friend-which-makes-me-gay thing, because it's been bugging me for quite awhile. 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes and…10.45 seconds…11 seconds now…but who's counting? Seriously though, it's been bugging me ever since Wendy Marie Testaburger, Captain of the Cheerleading Squad, Debate Club, Editor of the School Newspaper, And founder of the L.O.V.E Club (Love Our Visionary Earth Club), and the World Peace Club, dumped my beloved Stan Marsh, The Founder of the Nothing, because he wasn't "mature" enough for her…again. And she dumps him again, again and again. Every 5 seconds up until 7 months ago, she dumps him. _

_Well that day I was oddly glad, until I saw Stan crying- SOBBING- behind the school with those goth kids like as if somebody DIED. Well, I'll admit that got me jealous. Really jealous. Then I realized why I was so jealous. _

_And to top it off, Stan never got over Wendy. Never! (I think I was because he believe that they were a couple from out of a cheesy romance movie, like High School Musical or something). He still talks about her, and it's really starting to piss me off!_

_Anyway…I don't want to talk about that anymore. Let's talk about my passionate hatred for Eric Cartman, a sadist monster i've known since the beginning of time. He's narrasisctic, mean spirited, pessimistic, racist, sexist, anti semministic and I hate him! He is the worst person in the entire world, and he doesn't deserve anyone. But for some reason, my other friend, Kenny, feels bad for him. HA! well, Kenny is like MOSES or something because that is impossible, no matter how much you try and feel his pain about his dad and shit. I swear, I hate him, I hate, I ha_

"KYLE BROFSLOVSKI!"

My head snapped up from my journal and I could feel the stare of everyone else in the class bore into my back. My palms began to sweat as I considered the consequences for writing a journal in a physics class.

"Yes, Sir?"

"What is the answer to the question I just asked?"

"…I don't know sir." I answered honestly.

"I know you don't. Put that notebook away now."

Trembling from relief, I shoved the journal into my green backpack. It wasn't my fault this class was boring as hell!

The teacher gave me one final look before turning back to whatever he was talking about.

I rested my head on my hands and closed my eyes, thanking sweet Moses that the teacher didn't take my journal and read it aloud, like he does whenever Craig passes a note to Token. I swear, if He read it aloud, my life would have ended. I would have had to move to China, or Mongolia.

From behind me, I noticed that Eric Cartman wasn't here today because I couldn't feel any spitballs, baseballs, or paintballs penetrating my behind.

I thanked sweet Moses again.

I stared at the clock above the doorway. 10 Minutes until the end of the day. 10 minutes, then I could go to my house and play guitar hero and eat popcorn and watch 80s films with…with..Stan…

I was anxious to see him. Well, I thought logically. I could waste like 5 minutes in the bathroom, and then it will be time to go…

My hand shot up in the air.

"Yes, Mr. Brofslovski?"

"May I go to the bathroom?" I asked politely.

The teacher rolled his eyes, but gave me a pass. I could get away with this, because I was getting an A in this class, it was easy, no matter how boring it was.

I walked out the door and stepped into the 1st floor hallway, breathing in Chef Jr.'s cafeteria food, and I allowed my mind to wander to my fantasies as I pondered aimlessly down the hallway, In search of a bathroom. Most of my fantasies consisted of me and Stan, being held in his strong arms or us kissing in my living room, or in that old treehouse we built together- Or my favorite- him rejecting Wendy one day because..because he wants..me instead.

I sighed, and decided to push those thoughts away. It was almost the end of senior year, and Stan and I never were…and probably will never be. There was always things that separate us, like how he was so attached to Wendy, and how now he's going to be 500 miles away from me when we go to college, and how he isn't gay…I never did tell him. I wish I could…I wish I had the courage…

I strolled over to the bathroom, but before I opened the door, I heard a sudden shriek coming from down the hallway, followed by a long, howling sound.

Being the seuth that I am, I decided to investigate. I turned down the purple hallowys, following the sound of the shrieking and the howling, the moaning. It was quite loud. Was there a dog trapped somewhere? Some other animal? The screams and whimpers grew stronger as I stomped down a hallway that was being painted and the floors were torn apart and shit. I tiptoed down the hall. It smelt like paint and dust. It was dark, because they couldn't afford lighting in this part of the school. Ohh, South Park.

I stopped abruptly in front of a janitor's closet, not knowing what to expect. My shaking hand grasped the doorknob as I flung it open, expecting to see a litter of puppies or something.

No puppies. Far from puppies. VERY FAR FROM PUPPIES. I'd rather have puppies.

In the musty, dirty, stuffy closet, Wendy "Miss Perfect" Testaburger and Eric Cartman were wildly humping the brains out of each other, panting, moaning and wet. Did I mention that THEY WERE COMPLETELY NAKED?

Cartman was groping her…as he…and she was…and they…Oh god, Cartman's orgy face? Did I REALLY need to see that?

I think I was going to be sick. I made a revolting sound, and then Wendy looked up at me and gave me a look that made me wish that Death himself would come and swoop be up and take me to the fiery pits of hell.

Then something hit me, and darkness overcame me...


	2. What Happens in the Closet, Stays There

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski, Chapter 2

Hey everybody! Please R&R&R! Thank you for favorite/reviews!

New chapter for my other story, "A Date From Hell" is up! It's another Candy/Style yum yum goodness!

Love you all! new chapters every couple days!

Alvinroxz

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days and 13 hours, 14 minutes and 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it anymore, it's about to get a lot worse. Slash and Het! Pairings: Style, Candy, Benny, Stendy, Staig and love triangles are : Stylendy (KylexStanxWendy), Kytanoken (KylexStanXToken) and Cartendan (CartmanxWendyxStan), Heimandy (HeidixCartmanxWendy) and Kyendman (KylexWendyxCartman) and some Bromance between Kyle and Cartman (Horray for Kyman!). This sounds like a whorefest. But then again, we are in South Park.

Rated M for half- assed lemons, drug and alcohol, language.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of the characters in it. Damn!

XXX

I awoke drowsily in the darkness, trying to regain consciousness. Where the hell was I? Then a bright flashlight shown in my face, and I unfortunately remembered everything. I looked down at my body, and realized my ankles were tied up and my hands were handcuffed to a small bar holding up a shelf. My heart began to race. Cartman and Wendy were, let alone, people you did not want to cross. Together they were your worst nightmare.

"What do you guys want?" I moaned.

From somewhere in the darkess, a husky voice began to speak. "Well, well, well, it looks like we have caught a sneaky jew in nyah." Chills ran down my spine. "Don't we?"

"Look guys," I started. "I really could care less if you…do what you do." I revolted at the memories I had experienced minutes earlier. "Just let me go!" I struggled against the knots.

Damn, these bows were hardcore!

"It's no use struggling. Wendy was in Girl Scouts for seven years!"

From behind the glow of the flashlight, I could see Wendy, fully clothed now, thinking.

"Why are you guys together anyway?" I asked. "Don't you hate each other?"

"Yes." they chorused.

I sighed. "But then wh-"

"Because I love him!" Wendy giggled and snaked her arms around his chubby belly.

"…And I think she's hot!"

"Cartman!"

"I'm not saying that emo crap, ho! We've gone over this!"

"You really know how to ruin a good fuck, asshole!"

"I didn't ruin anything!" He pressed his forehead against hers.

"Why d

o I have to put in all the effort in this relationship?" Wendy demanded. "Even in bed!"

"Fuck you bitch! I did my part!"

"I hate you!" she shrieked in his face.

"I HATE YOU TO-"

"GUYS!" I shouted. They turned back to me. I could tell they forgot I was there.

"Stop fighting!" I whispered. "People will hear you!"

They gave each other one final glare.

"We'll talk about this later, Eric!" Wendy hissed.

"Sweet." He said bitterly. Then they turned to me.

"I won't tell anyone. I promise!"

"I think we all know that a certain fitly jew can't keep promises…" Cartman sneered. "Not unless his reputation is on the line." And he was right. I was planning on telling Stan as soon as I got out. Which probably wasn't anytime soon.

"What?" My mind was racing as I came to the sudden realization that I was being blackmailed by the two most horrible people I know. What could they possibly use against me?

"We know you love Stan, Kahhhhhllll." Cartman giggled deviously.

"That's so not true!" I lied.

"Yes it is." Wendy held up my journal. Shit, I knew that was a bad idea. "You brought this with you to the bathroom." She smiled at me kindly.

"YOUR A FAG, DUDE!" Cartman jabbed his finger at my nose. "BUHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up!" I could feel my face heat up in the darkness, not only from Cartman's obnoxious comment, but now Wendy knows what I think about her (Sorta). As for Cartman? I tell him how I feel everyday.

"It's alright Kyle." Wendy patted my leg. "I think you should be free to love whoever, whatever gender they are."

"Yes, of course Kahl. Of course, If you don't mind going to hell. Which you were already going anyway, because your a fucking JEWFAG!"

It was at these times I wished I could disappear.

Cartman was rolling on the floor, cackling.

"Why don't you guys want to be seen together?"

"We also have reputations to uphold. And being seen with Eric would destroy mine."

"AY!"

"Oh, you know i'm kidding." But there was seriousness in her words. "it's just i'm a lover, your a hater. I love the earth and you trash it…" She sighed. "Your a mean Nazi…" he looked proud. "But I love you anyways." She kissed his mouth, and my stomach curled.

Silence.

"I'm not saying it back, ho!"

"Aw, come o-"

"GUYS!" I shook my head. I was surprised they had lasted a day together..or a week..how long have they been?

"How long have you guys been…hooking up?"

They looked at me oddly. "Were not just hooking up." Cartman said. "She's my girlfriend."

"That's right!" She smiled at him and took hold of his hand. "Our 10 month anniversary is tomorrow."

10 MONTHS WITH CARTMAN? That was my first reaction. Then came the dawning that Wendy and Stan broke up 7 MONTHS AGO.

"You cheated on Stan for 3 months!" I accused Wendy.

She looked taken aback. "No I didn't. I broke up with Stan for Eric, but I never went out with him or kissed him until I broke up with Stan." She chipped at her nail polish. "Give me some credit."

"Then what happened 7 months ago?" I demanded. "When did he tell me he broke up with you then?"

"I don't think he got the message. He kept asking me out until 7 months ago.

My heart sunk. He loved Wendy. He lied to me. But why?

"I'm glad he stopped asking you out before I had to pound his face in." Cartman snarled.

Wendy kissed his cheek. I sighed.

"Kyle, he was probably embarrassed. Your his best friend, he wants to impress you the most." Wendy said softly. "I'm sure he didn't want to lie to you." She continued chipping at her nails. "We're digressing. Look, you can not tell anyone about me and my poopsykins-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Because then Stan will know your secret. And so will everyone else." Wendy's evil side shown bright.

"Alright! Just untie me!" I begged. Cartman reached over and slit my ties with a knife, to my extreme dread. The words "Cartman" and "Knife" should never be used in the same sentence.

"Hey, you want to go get a soda or something?" Cartman asked Wendy.

"Oh, let's stay here for a little while.." she winked and he leaned over.

I dashed out of the closet before they would start making out or something.


	3. Another Murder

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski, Chapter 3

Summary: Kyle Brofslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it anymore, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content, use of alcohol, etc. Pairings: Style, Candy

Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews! Please R&R& favorite if you enjoy =]. Sorry for not publishing for a while, went back to school =[, and I couldn't find the time…but I shall make more time! Love!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

My eyes shot open into the darkness of my room as my alarm went of. Silently, I shut it of and got dresses robotically.

Today was Eric Cartman's last day on earth. Today he would pay for all the things he did, and most recently…flirting with Stan.

I shoved the bad memories out of my head as I grabbed a baseball bat, some duck tape, a rope and other sharp object I thought I would be useful. I shoved all of this in my schoolbag mechanically, for I had tried to kill Cartman before- and epicly failed every single time.

I jumped swiftly out my window, onto the branches of a nearby tree, and down onto the seemingly peaceful streets, occasionally lit my lampposts and cars passing threw the tiny town I called home.

Whenever I plotted to kill that fat bastard, I always ended up not taking the plan seriously, because, Moses forbid I would kill someone. Well not this time. This time, Moses can suck me as I murder all the source of evil in this world once and for all. It doesn't matter anyway, because according to Cartman, "kahl's going to hell anyway, that jewfag!"

I breathed in the crisp night air, feeling the moment. Say your prayers tonight, Cartman. It'll be the last time you do.

At approximately 1:15 AM, I reached the Cartman household. Excitement boiled underneath my skin as I threw the rope up over the hook that I had previously nailed above Cartman's window many years earlier. I found it easier to scale his walls this way, since I was doing it practically every month.

I tied the rope around my waist, and jumped up onto the side of his house. The streets were dark, and all the windows were unlit inside the houses. Good. I didn't want anyone seeing me, and call the cops like that one time.

I used all my upper arm strength to climb up the wall, as if I were rock climbing or something. I passed the familiar shingle were I had written my my name "Kyle B" in small print, angry that I had too much of a conscience to kill him. Not tonight. Tonight was different, and there was a new, fresh fire of hate burning inside me.

I opened the latch to his window with a butter knife I had brought, and It creaked open. I bit my lip in anticipation- praying that he wouldn't wake up. Silence in the room. He was fast asleep.

In the darkness of the night, I saw Cartman sprawled out underneath the covers, limbs everywhere. A breeze rolled in, and I felt the nervousness sink in. I was actually going to carry on with this plan. Tonight, that asswipe was going to hell once and for all.

I studied his room, taking a flashlight from my backpack. Piles of Red Bull and Vodka lay everywhere, (he often mixed these drinks) and cigarettes, clothes, papers and random shit littered the floor. Almost everything in sight was covering in something, including the TV and the Xbox. I pinched my nose in disgust. The entire room smelt like Cartman: cheesy poofs, cigarettes and raspberries. Only Cartman would smell like raspberries.

I silently dropped to the floor, and closed the double windows. Then I carefully drew the shades over them and used my flashlight to make my way across the floor. I had decided to torture him first, then kill him. Well, that's what he gets for deliberately trying to make me reveal my secret. Plus, a world without Cartman is a world without violence and constant struggle in my life and practically everyone else's around me.

I pulled his desk chair from underneath his desk, threw the dirty boxers of it with a pair of tongs and placed my bag on it. I then locked the door with a Sexual Harassment Panda Home Security Lock that I had received for Hanukkah last year. Then, I took my climbing rope and a rag in my hand and made my way over to his bed. I winced as I heard glass crunch underneath my feet.

Taking a deep breath, I gaged him with a rag. He still didn't wake up. Then I lifted his heavy arms up and tied them to the bedpost with the rope, as tight as I could- a trick I learned from Jubilee.

I stroked him with a slap across the face.

He awoke with a fright, and I shined my flashlight in his narrowing green eyes. Strangely enough, was that a blush on his face?

"Muhhmm! Muhmmm!" He tried to talk, unsuccessfully. I turned the lights on and yanked of the covers.

No, No, No, No….

WHY WAS WENDY HERE!

"What the fuck!" I yelled at a now angry and awoke Wendy Testaburger, who only had a skimpy little belly shirt on and some light pink panties. "What the hell?"

"It's none of your business Kyle! Why are you here anyway!" She yanked the covers back and turned to her boyfriend. "And what are you doing?" She began take of the rag in his mouth.

"No!" I pushed her away, which probably wasn't a good idea. "I have to kill him!" I apologized.

She looked at me, incredulous. Cartman began to snicker.

I massaged my temples, not wanting to think about what Cartman and Wendy were doing before I got here. "You guys, come on. Why? Why oh why?"

Wendy pulled the rag of and Cartman began to yell at me. "You slimy jew! How dare you sneak into my room and try to kill me? When my girlfriend is here? And stop doing that! What we do is private and none of your-" His temper flared up.

"Shh, quiet down hun." HUN? "Look Kyle, it would be best if you left now. Just walk away and we won't ever speak of this again."

"No!" I protested as Wendy untied Cartman's hands. "I came here for a reason! Tonight, Eric Cartman will die!" I sure felt funny saying that…

They both broke out in laughter, and Cartman began to cry from laughing too hard. He wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh Kahl, Kahl, Kahl darling! What were you planning on doing to me? You are such a silly little boy!"

"Don't ever call me darling again." I snarled.

Wendy gave Cartman a low handed high five and then she got up and placed her hand on my shoulder, still giggling. "If you killed him, then you would DIE..! Don't you ever plan ahead?"

It wasn't funny because I was sure she was serious.

"Well Wendy, you should stop laughing, especially when you hear about what Cartman was doing yesterday." I rose my voice. Cartman looked alarmed. Oh you've had your last laugh. I'm telling on you!

"What did he do?" Wendy asked, suddenly stolid.

"Let's just say that he had some fun taunting me with the secret he found out earlier yesterday." I raised an eyebrow and glared at Cartman, still sitting on the bed. He was making gestures not to tell her anything.

"Like how..?" Wendy narrowed her eyes and turned around at her boyfriend. He stopped gesturing and shied back, shrugging his shoulders.

"Like, I don't know, how do I put this..like kissing, making eyes at, and holding hands with Stan?"

Wendy turned around, and wow did I feel bad for Cartman. She struck him across the face, and then sacked him in the balls. He dropped on his knees to the floor, screaming in pain. "owwwwwwwww Wendy..! ohhhhhhh man I am not having children."

"Don't you ever do that again Cartman!" She pushed him on the ground. "Don't ever kiss anyone else, even if it was just for kicks!" She wrinkled her nose. "Especially not other men!"

She kicked him again. "Bad Eric! Naughty!"

I really enjoyed watching Cartman squeal in hurt as he dramatically rolled around on the floor. Wendy got up and patted my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Kyle. It won't happen again."

I decided that I liked Wendy Testaburger right about then, considering that we now had something in common.

"I don't get how you can stand him. Or his smell." I pinched my nose again, and breathed out my mouth.

"I happen to like the way he smells. It's nice."

Back to nothing in common.

Cartman got up. "Screw you guys." He whimpered and limped away to the bathroom.

I turned to Wendy, thinking of something else to say. But before I could open my mouth, Cartman began to scream again.

"FUCK OH SWEET FUCKING JESUS MOTHER FUCKER!" He shrieked and grabbed his foot and started jumping up and down.

"Cartman?" Wendy rushed over to him and gasped.

"What?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"Glass! Broken Glass in his foot, oh dear!" She started picking up the glass pieces. "I told you to clean this room!"

Cartman limped back to the bed and sat down, rocking back and forth on his back. "OH FUCK! SHIT OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

Wendy rushed of the the bathroom and grabbed some bandages, then ran back in, careful not to step on the glass.

"I BLAME…KAHL! HE SET ME UP!" Cartman yelled and pointed his finger at me. I shuffled my feet. He got what he deserved, but it was my fault.

"Yea I actually, stepped on the glass, not knowing it was there. But I have shoes on. I-"

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Cartman yelled again.

Wendy patted Cartman's head and tried to calm him down. "It's not your fault, he should have cleaned his room."

"WHAT? HOW COULD YOU SIDE WITH HIM!"

"Your dirty Eric! It's your own fault! And you shouldn't be drinking anyway!" She took his hands of his knees and laid them by his side, and straightened out his legs. He began to tear up.

"It's alright. I know it hurts." She kissed his forehead. "Just stay calm, alright?" She sat on the bed and laid his feet on her lap. They were bleeding and all cut up.

"Kyle? Hand me those tweezers please? There on the nightstand."

I gave them to her. She began to pick out the glass shards stuck in his feet, and with each tug, Cartman moaned.

"When was the first time you had sex?" I blurted. That question had been stuck in my head this entire time.

They both looked up, flushed and surprised.

"Oh…Maybe 9 months ago?" Wendy looked down and successfully pulled a few shards out.

"You shouldn't know about my sex life! Wendy how could you tell him that?" Cartman demanded.

She shrugged. "It feels good to have someone know. Not even Bebe knows or anything."

"Bebe doesn't know?" I looked at her, shocked. I thought they knew like everything about each other and shit. "So Kenny doesn't know either? Or Butters?" I demanded. Kenny and Butters were Cartman's closest things to "best friends".

"No!" He snapped at me. "And I bet Stan doesn't know about your little creepy crush either-ow Wendy!"

My throat closed.

"Be nice Cartman!" Wendy said.

"Why? Your not my mum!"

"But i'm your girlfriend. So i'm like your mom with benefits."

"Cartman's mom already has benefits." I said. I couldn't help it.

"SHUT UP ASSWIPE!" He growled. Leanne Cartman never got married. She still was the same slut she was when we were nine. In fact, I'm pretty sure some of the seniors at are school already did his mom. And he knows those rumors to be true.

Another piece of glass came out of Cartman's foot. "Ahh! Oww.."

I studied Wendy and Cartman. They seemed closer than most couples, almost like they were married and something. They argued and bickered with each other constantly, but at then end of the day they still loved each other. Which was weird, who would ever love Cartman? I puzzled. Well, Wendy I guess must be the only person on the planet to love that fat shit.

"So you guys love each other, huh?"

"Yes-" said Wendy.

"NO!" roared Cartman, embarrassed.

"Yes you do!" Wendy frowned, but I sensed a trickle of uncertainty in her voice.

He rolled his eyes. Wendy set aside the tweezers and began to bandage his foot.

"All done." She smiled. Then she walked over to the closet, and pulled out a pair of crutches.

"Huh? Where did those come from?"

"You stole these from Craig when he broke his ankle last week? Remember?" She gave the crutches to Cartman.

"Do I really need these?" He asked.

"I don't want you walking on that foot." then she turned to me. "Want to help me stay and clean up Eric's room?"

"Um, no thanks." I backed away and grabbed my stuff. But before I rushed out the window, Wendy called my name.

"Hey, are you going to the party tonight…I heard Stan's going to be there!"

I straightened up. He was?

"Um, maybe. Thanks for reminding me though." I leaped out the window, once again failing at my attempted murder.


	4. The Party

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski, Chapter 4

Summary: Kyle Brofslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it anymore, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.

Thanks everyone for your favorites and reviews and alerts! New Chapter up yay! Don't worry, I won't ditch this story- I love it too much!

alvinroxz

PS: New "Date From Hell" Chapter Up! It's another candy and style!

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

"Hey Man!" Stan leaned over to me from outside the doorway and gave me a one armed hug.

I smiled and looked beyond him. Kenny was there, flirting with Bebe, and Butters was awkwardly twiddling his thumbs. Wendy and Cartman were standing about 3 feet apart from each other, in the back of the group. The were both pretending to be preoccupied with their phones. Cartman was on the crutches, and his leg was wrapped up.

"What's up dudes?" I waved at everyone behind Stan, but only Butters looked up and waved back…with two hands.

It was around 6 O Clock, and we were all heading together to Craig Tucker's Daily Weekend Bash, which was basically a poor excuse for the teenagers of South Park to get completely wasted and bang one another throughout the Tucker household. As per usual, we traveled there in a group, because this way when we go home we'll be forced to bring everyone back- even the ones that are passed out. And by that I mean Kenny and Bebe, and occasionally Stan.

"Well, I'm going to go grab my coat." I smiled at Stan, and slipped my green coat on. He nodded and scratched his head.

Then something clicked in my head- It was Cartman and Wendy's 10 Month Anniversary- I have no idea why I suddenly remembered that. But that probably means that their going to sneak off during the party and do whatever.

Stan gently pushed me out the door into the night, and I locked the front door with my house key. I double checked it was locked, because last time Craig had a party, a couple high kids ended up in my living room. You wouldn't believe the trouble I got in for that.

We all hopped in Stan's shitty mini-van, which had been around since the 1900's because it had scratches and dents all over it, complete with a cracked window. In a attempt to spruce it up, Stan spray painted it blue. Now it looks half assed.

As we piled in the car, Kenny, the designated driver, blasted some rap music and Bebe sat next to him. Butters sat in the back corner along with me and Stan. Wendy and Cartman took the 2 middle seats. I noticed Stan was staring sadly at Wendy from the seat behind her, and she noticed too, because the side of her face that I could see flushed up and she coughed. Cartman looked like he wanted to strangle Stan, but then again he always looks like he wants to strangle someone.

"HI." I said to Stan, trying to break his trance from Wendy. He looked startled when I talked to him, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, hi."

Kenny started to drive, and I was able to strike up a conversation with him about teachers that we hated. But the entire time, I had my eyes on Cartman and Wendy, Cartman was teasing Butters about something and Wendy was defending him.

Should I wish them a 10th month anniversary aloud and embarrass them?

I looked at Cartman and wondered if he would behave the same way he did yesterday to Stan. Probably not because Wendy was here.

We arrived at Craig's at around 6:05 and music was pouring out from the house already. All the lights were on, and the emo kids were all standing in the front yard, trying to "non conform". Kenny parked the van and we all got out.

Inside, "All the Small Things" by Blink 182 was playing loudly, and you could feel the floor practically vibrating. I passed through crowds of people, making sure I had Stan in sight. I greeted some random guys from the basketball team who I had never talked to in my life, and I grabbed a beer from the cooler. One drink can't hurt me. This was a party after all!

"Hey!" Stan tapped my shoulder, drink in hand. I laughed, and I brought him over to the dance floor and we jumped up and down, which is the dance your supposed to do for these types of songs.

"WE LOOK LIKE RETARDS!" He laughs loudly over the roar of the music.

"WHO CARES!" I scream back, half laughing. "BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, EVERYONE'S GONNA BE TO DRUNK TO REMEMBER ANYTHING!"

"I KNOW RIGHT!"

We began to rock our heads side to side and whip our hair in people's faces.

"WATCH IT ASSHOLE!" Some guy screamed at me, I have long curly hair.

I laughed again, and Stan did the same. Then we began to gossip, as we always do at parties. We studied some girls and decided that they were the insecure ones that didn't make fools of themselves. I pointed to a group of jocks, and we decided that all they wanted was to get laid, but they were going to strike out tonight.

I looked at Stan and grinned. For a moment, I forgot how much he loved Wendy and I decided I wanted it to be like this forever- Best Friends. But I knew that if we ever were to happen, our relationship would never be the same.

And I don't know whether or not I want that yet.

Stan was talking about something, and I could tell he was getting wasted pretty quickly. It was going to be one of those nights…

A different song played: Vampires Will Never Hurt You, by My Chemical Romance.

"O! I LIKE THIS SONG!" Stan began to rock the fuck out, complete with stomping up and down and full on head nods. I couldn't help but laugh again, because he looked so incredibly stupid!

"STAN!" I yelled over the music. "STAN YOUR A FUCKING RETARD!"

He snorted and dropped to the ground as the song ended, panting. He sat legs wide, and propped himself on his hands behind him. His tongue stuck out of his mouth, and he was dripping with sweat.

"WHOA DUDE!" I chuckled and helped him up. He got up and brushed his dark hair out of his eyes.

"I have to go to the bathroom." He coughed. I nodded and laughed, shaking my head. He walked away, stumbling a bit.

I sniffed and accidentally bumped into a large group of football players.

"WATCH IT, ASSHOLE!"

"FUCK YOU!" I laughed, extremely happy and not realizing the consequences of my words.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY BOY!"

I opened by eyes wide and backed away, brushing through other crowds of people. God, there must be like 150 kids here!

I proceeded to look for Cartman and Wendy, wondering if they had snuck away yet. I turned down a almost empty hallway, and out the back door.

Found them- they were hungrily making out on the side of the house. Cartman had her pinned down against the wall, and I was not going to get used to this anytime soon.

"Guys!"

They bother jumped when they saw me.

"What." Cartman snarled.

"…Were are your crutches?"

He pointed to the bushes.

"Well, I just wanted to um, wish you guys a happy anniversary."

A slow warm smile spread across Wendy's face. "Thanks Kyle!"

Cartman looked down and mumbled a thank you. Which was weird because I wasn't expecting one from him.

"So how have things with Stan been?" Wendy released Cartman's hands on either side of the wall, and she turned to face me.

"Good, I guess. He went for a bathroom break. He's totally wasted!" I blabbed.

Cartman tapped his good foot impatiently, he was waiting to get back to kissing his girlfriend.

"Oh, well I guess that means it'll be a good night for you, eh?" Wendy winked.

….I don't get - OH! "NO! NO! I would never take advantage of him."

Cartman snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious. But why…you guys! You guys are really bad at hiding your secret, I mean your lucky it was me catching you, and not Token or Stan!"

The mention of Wendy's ex boyfriends made Cartman narrow his eyes at me. Wendy shrugged her shoulders. "I guess, that would be bad."

"No shit." Cartman commented.

Wendy whirled around to meet his eyes. "Don't talk to me like that!"

"I do what I want!"

"GOD! Your so annoying!"

"YOUR ANNOYING!"

"Guys!" I tried to interrupt.

"What!" They both looked at me.

"Just, go hook up somewhere else okay? For your own sake." Then I walked out.

Back inside, I meet up with Butters and Tweek, and we all talked for a while. I had a couple more drinks, and then I began to search for Stan.

On the dance floor, one of Stan's favorite songs; "American Idiot", was playing.

But he wasn't there.

"STAN?" I called, hoping he'd hear me, "STAN?"

I checked the living room, and he wasn't there either. I checked the deck, and I checked all the bathrooms. No sign of Stan.

"STAN!"

About 5 minutes later, I felt another tap on the shoulder. It was Wendy.

Damn it!

"KYLE! KYLE! KYLE!" She looked happy and out of breath.

"WHAT?"

She giggled and gave me her hand.

"Yes…?"

"Look at the ring!"

I looked at the ring she had around her ring finger. It was gold, and it had a big circular ruby, a big REAL ruby in the center, and the edges were trimmed with gold.

"It's beautiful." I stared in awe at the ring.

"Cartman gave it to me for our anniversary." She announced proudly.

My jaw hung at my knees. Cartman was the most selfish asshole I knew!

"LIES!" I shrieked. The only thing Cartman has ever given me was AIDS.

She tugged her hand away. "No!" Then her eyes softened. "Isn't he the sweetest guy ever?"

"Um…" I looked at the ring, disbelieving it existed. How?

"Was it expensive?"

"It's a real ruby! 2.5 Carats!"

I rubbed my eyes. "2.5 CARATS!" That's bigger than most engagement rings!

She sighed dramatically. Isn't he wonderful!"

"And what did you get him?"

"1st row concert tickets to his favorite band and one of those hand made books that says like, "Good For One Blow Job", or "Unlimited Sex."

"Gross."

She sighed again and stared at her ring lovingly. Then she walked out, still staring at it.

I raised my eyebrows, wondering who was this person and what had they done with Cartman.

I went back to looking for Stan. Maybe if I give him a 2.5 carat ruby ring he would like me more.

I climbed up the stairs, not expecting Stan to be up here.

But I did see all the lights on, and random people kissing. I swerved down the hall and opened his parents room.

And I regret it more than anything I've ever done.

My eyes burned with tears as I took one look, and the people sat up right on the bed.

"Kyle?" A familiar voice said.

I ran out of the room, blinded by tears. Then I dashed out of the house, breaking out into sobs.

Was it becoming a habit of mine to walk into people?

I just walked in on Stan. But what really hurt was that it wasn't me next to him.

It was Craig.

Stan wasn't straight. He was gay, or bi to say the least.

And he was being gay up in that room with someone who wasn't me.


	5. A Slap In The Face

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski, Chapter 5

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.

Pairings: Style, Candy, Benny, Staig

**NOTE: PLEASE IGNORE THE PAIRING OF STOKEN IN THE FIRST CHAPTER! I CHANGED IT! Thank you!**

Hey everyone! Thanks for reviews and favorites! **Please R&R**! I would really appreciate that, your words keep me publishing faster and writing more often! Kisses & Hugs!

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own south park! Damn!

XXX

I roamed aimlessly through the school hallways, not really caring where I was going. It didn't matter anymore- nothing mattered anymore. I began to massaged the back of my tense shoulder.

Okay. So Stan was gay…great. Wonderful. Amazing, even. I couldn't be more excited. But of course, for every good thing, you get a slap in the face, a kick in the groin, a catch. Sure he was gay- but that doesn't mean that he loved me back. In fact, he had a lover already. It would be as if I were straight, and the girl I liked had a boyfriend. So that pretty much sucks ass.

I mean Craig? Craig? Really, CRAIG? I haven't talked to him since, well, elementary school- Stan hasn't talked to him since elementary school.

Or so I thought.

I took of my green ushanka and ran my fingers throughout my matted red curls. My jewfro was long gone, but now I have what I liked to call a Fro-Fro (fake jewfro). Actually I didn't come up with that name, Stan did in one of our long, intense conversations about people's hair.

Oh god, Stan..

The bell rang and I snuck into my 1st period class, pulling out my cellphone as I trotted through the door. I had to check my messages, and I was curious of Stan remembered anything from Saturday night. I took a seat in the back so the teacher wouldn't notice me.

5 missed calls, 3 texts, and 2 voicemails all from Stan. He had not forgotten. It made me slightly happier that Stan wanted to explain things so badly, that he needed to talk to me, he wanted to talk to me…but it made me sad too, under theses circumstances…

I deleted all of Stan's messages, knowing they would make me even more depressed.

1 voicemail from Wendy. How did I get her number anyway?

I casually put the phone to my ear and listened cautiously, aware that a teacher was in the classroom. But he was so old, I doubt he would notice if there was an earthquake.

Over the phone, a cheerful Wendy began to speak:

"Hey Kyle! Um, Stan is looking for you and it seems to be urgent or something…" On the other end of the line, She had begun to talk to someone else in the background.

"Stop that Cartman….SHUT UP! I'm talking to Kyle….DON'T CALL HIM THAT!…. Aww, I think your cute too!"

I revolted.

She turned back to the phone. "I have to go Kyle. But um, Stan is looking for you!" Then the message ended abruptly.

I sighed and put my phone away. Well, at least she was happy.

"H-H-Hiya, Kyle!" Butters ran up to me, a blur of blonde and blue and stood at the corner of the empty desk next to mine. "I hope you don't mind if I sit, err, next to you but those boys over their kicked me out and well-"

"Of course you can sit here Butters." I smiled up at him as he plopped down, a large grin on his face.

"T-Thanks!" Butters said softly.

"Don't thank me, I didn't do anything. You should be able to sit where you want." I looked over at the boys Butters were talking about- their names are Troy, Malcom and Daniel. I met them first in middle school, and hated them instantly. They were popular and snobby, and they bullied every kid who wasn't like them- popular I mean. I believe Troy went out with Wendy back in 8th grade, but she dumped him for Tweek or something. They never bothered me, Kenny, or Stan though- partially because we were kind of popular. Cartman on the other hand, they tried to tease him about his fat once. Called him lots of bad names that i've never heard in my entire life- and I remember I was pissed because I forgot to write them down. Cartman, being a natural at bullying, was able to tear them down with words. We all thought it was the end, but the next day, Troy, Malcom and Daniel came in with broken legs, arms, noses, fingers, black eyes- and no once messed with Cartman's fat after that.

Butters, though, was a perfect target for bullying as proven again and again. Around the 9th grade, Cartman laid off Butters, and rather began to bully him occasionally in what I call a "loving" way. But Troy and the guys; never got sick of being mean to Butters. Assholes.

"Oh Goodie!" Butters pulled out his notebooks and began to ramble on about something.

Then Stan entered the room, and the first person he saw was me. I looked away, pretending not to care.

Stan sat in the very front, all by himself.

"Okay Class! Let's get started. " The teacher talked and Butters talked. I nodded my head every once in a while, so Butters could see that I was listening.

And for the entire period, I looked at Stan's back, thinking.

Then the bell rang, and I gathered my books quickly, dropping a few papers in the process. I was desperate to ignore Stan and march out of the room, possibly trying to avoid him for the rest of the school year.

"Bye Butters!" I yelled as I ran out of the room.

"Oh jeez! Buh-Bye Kyle!"

But as soon as I stepped outside the doorway, a hand yanked on my shirt and pulled me back inside.

Stan whipped me around so I could see his face.

"We need to talk."

"About what?" I played dumb.

"You know what."

"Look Stan…" I started, trying not to make eye contact with him. "If you like, um…Craig, that's none of my business." I turned away.

"No!" he pulled me back again. "Kyle!" He stepped out of the way of the door inside the classroom and began to whisper. "I was so drunk. You saw me! I'M NOT GAY!"

I raised my eyebrows in astonishment, and I felt my heart sinking. "Your not?"

"No!" Stan pulled me closer and began to talk in hushed tones. "I thought that Craig was…Wendy!"

I began to stutter and my shoulder slumped. "W-What?"

Stan shook his head. "I just can't get over her man…"

I slapped my forehead for being such an idiot as to ever fantasies about Stan liking me. Never ever, ever will we be together. Never, ever, ever.

"I don't know why..I think it's because I feel like, I feel like I did something wrong and that really bugs me. You know? That feeling where you feel like it was your fault and you want to redo it? I think It might be the times that I ignored her, you know?"

My insides were falling apart. I hate listening to Stan talk about Wendy. It is the most saddest, depressing thing I have ever heard.

"I'm not gay dude!" He said it again. It was like ever time he said that word, I cringed. " And we didn't do it okay? Like we did virtually nothing. I was to drunk to move. He was too drunk to move-"

"So you thought you were going to do it with Wendy?" I asked for clarification.

He nodded. 'But you know i'm still a virgin right?"

I sighed.

"RIGHT?"

I managed to feign a smile. "Okay I believe you."

Stan looked relieved. "Thank God!"

I turned away to my next class thinking what Stan would do if he knew Wendy was with Cartman. Well, it's probably better that he doesn't know anyway. I turned away to walk to my next class.

But then 2 arms snaked around my waist and hugged me tight.

"Thanks for understanding." Stan squeezed me and ran of in the opposite direction.

But no, not even the hug could make me feel better. I once again found myself wandering the hallway; decorated with flyers for the big dance next week. It was girl's choice, so it's not like I could bring anyone. I'd have to get asked.

Or would I be considered the girl in a gay relationship?

As I rounded the corner, I saw something i'd rather not of seen.

Only Cartman and Wendy would make out by a school telephone booth.

"GUYS!" I shouted.

They jumped when they saw me.

"WHAT?" Cartman shouted back, right in my face. I nearly bust a eardrum.

"Aren't you two trying not to get caught?"

"Yes." They said in unison.

I sighed.

"Believe it or not Kyle, but people are not that perceptive in South Park, and did you talk to Stan?" Wendy replied.

"…Yes."

"Oh good! What was so urgent?"

I froze.

Wendy raised her eyebrow. "What is it?"

Cartman became curious. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"What happened, Kahl? Hmm? What did your little gay friend say?" Cartman spat.

"It's not like were NOT going to find out anyway!" Wendy hissed.

"Okay! Okay!" I winced. "I'll tell you!"

Silence.

"WELL?" Wendy stomped her foot. "I have a right to know!"

"On Saturday…I saw Stan in bed with someone."

Both of their jaws dropped.

"Who?" Wendy asked.

"…Craig. But don't tell anyone oka-"

"!" Cartman crouched over any began to break out in hysterics.

"Oh, Kyle, I'm so sorry!" Wendy sympathized with me and she kicked her boyfriend repeatedly. "Stop that!"

"! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HE'S A FAGGOT! HE'S A FAGGOT! BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cartman busted a gut and he proceeded to roll on the floor. Tears streamed down from his face.

"Ignore him." Wendy put her arm around me.

"I am." Then pulled her away. "You shouldn't be laughing Cartman, because you haven't heard the catch." I smiled. To every good thing, there is a slap in the face, a kick in the groin, a catch.

"!" Cartman began to snort loudly, reminding me of a overweight pig on it's back.

" THE REASON," I spoke loudly over his laughter, "HE DID THAT IS NOT BECAUSE HE'S GAY, IT'S BECAUSE HE THOUGHT CRAIG WAS WENDY!"

Wendy covered her mouth in shock. Cartman began to choke and he stood up.

"HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DO IT WITH WENDY! HA!" Now it was my turn to laugh.

Wendy flushed all over, and Cartman balled up his fists and grew angrier with every passing second.

I managed some bitter laughter. "Not so funny anymore, is it?"

"Kyle." Wendy's voice shook. "Could you please tell Stan that I do not like him anymore?"

"He doesn't care!"

Cartman stormed off somewhere.

Wendy slapped her head. "I should have broke up with him more easily."

"How did you break it too him?"

"Well…." Wendy watched her boyfriend march off. "I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. He asked why and I said because I didn't like him anymore!" She paused. "Then he tried to show me that he liked me and stuff and I told him to piss off." She grimaced at the last part. "I probably shouldn't have done that-"

"Well of course you shouldn't have done that! now he thinks something is up! Is that really how you end a 1 year relationship?"

Wendy moaned. "No…"

"And now he's all worked up! He needed an explanation or some shit! Closure! Whatever!" I marched off, leaving Wendy behind.

I just wanted to go home and cry, and it wasn't even 10:00.


	6. Depression and Black Eyes

The Secret Diary of Kyle B. Chapter 6

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content. Pairings: Style, Candy, Stendy, Benny, ButtersxSally

Hey everyone! Sorry about the confusion of Chapter 5, I accidentally reposted the old chapter 4 again, but thanks to a reviewer who caught the problem, I was able to put up the new Chapter 5. I was so confused, the original title I had title chapter 4 "chapter 5" and ugh. MOVING ON! Thanks for all the great reviews, favorites etc. Review and favorite if you enjoy! Hope you like new chapter!

alvinroxz

disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

As the next couple days slowly fell into each other, I realized I was seeing Cartman and Wendy's "sessions" a lot more than I would have preferred.

A hell of a lot more than I would have preferred.

In the hallways, in the stairwell, in public restrooms and behind Casa Bonita; wherever there was a empty corner, Cartman and Wendy were there in a flash.

I'm genially surprised that no one else was noticing this. Am I going completely loopy?

Yes. Yes I am.

One time, in the boy's shower stalls, I decided to confront them.

"Don't you guys realize that some one besides me will see you eventually?" I snapped as they were sucking face.

To which Cartman responded:

"Go write in your lame diary, Kahl."

So here I am, with nothing to write in this notebook. Honestly, I haven't written in that thing since over a week ago, when my most deepest, darkest, personal secrets were discovered a minute after I wrote them down on paper.

But It doesn't matter anymore does it? I might as well unleash all my goddamn secrets. So I date my time.

_Thursday, April 17th. 8:02 PM, and 49 seconds._

_Dear Diary, _

I pause. What's there to write? My feelings about Stan's fling with Kyle? I decide that no matter what, Cartman and Wendy will never know another secret of mine. So since their probably going to read my journal again, I have to play it safe.

_Dear Diary,_

_I hate my life. _

_-Kyle Brofslovski. _

I signed my name and slipped my notebook away. I was done for at least another week.

At school the next day, I was utterly depressed. I felt as if my entire world was a dark pool of despair. What was I thinking? Stan wasn't gay. He loved Wendy, and he would always love Wendy no matter what. What was the point of it all?

In the hallways after lunch I was being especially emo, dragging my body threw the school aimlessly, not really knowing where to go, or what to do. I didn't feel like going to math with Stan, or seeing Stan or meeting Stan after class. His face depressed me. Everything about my life depresses me.

And of course when I drudged past the music room, guess which lovely people I saw?

"Wow jew, did your gay lover die or something?" Cartman sneered.

"He might as well be dead." I said robotically.

Wendy patted me on the shoulder. "Everything is going to turn out okay."

"Not as long as he loves you." I said.

She took her hand of my shoulder as if she had been burnt. "I can't do anything about it, Kyle."

I took a step foreword. "Just talk to him please! PLEASE!"

"I d-don't think that would help." She stuttered.

"Yes it will!" I pleaded. "Be nice. He just wants closure or something."

Wendy massaged her temples and groaned.

"Just give it a shot."

"I don't know.."

"Help me please!" I suddenly dropped to my knees and clasped my hands together. I was so tired of his complaining and whining about her. He needed to get over Wendy for his own damn sake. "If he goes on like this, it'll take over his life. Take over my life. PLEASE WENDY HAVE A HEART!" unexpectedly, a tear fell from my right eye and I noticed the shock in her eyes. Cartman looked like he was holding laughter in, but she elbowed him to calm him down.

"Please Wendy." I begged.

She sighed. "Okay. But only for you Kyle." I could see the pity in her eyes.

I took a sigh of relief and wipe the single tear streaming down my face.

Wendy began to walk away.

"Where are you going ho?" Cartman yelled after her.

"To talk to Stan!"

"No!" I yelled. "Not now!"

She began to walk back. "Then when?"

"Tomorrow, when the four of us go bowling together." I wanted this to go perfectly, and doing this in the middle of the lunch period, surrounded by sweaty boys, gossipy girls and loud noises was not the perfect scenario.

Wendy sighed again. " Tomorrow is Friday, and I was going to hang with Bebe…"

"Take her bowling then. The four of us will be there. We'll leave when you talk to Stan."

Wendy agreed slowly, still uneasy about the whole thing. I took one look at Cartman, and realized that he didn't.

After school, I headed towards work in my beat up old car. I loved my car- I loved the scent of it, the scent of Stan's cologne ( He had been in here so many times) and crispy KFC. It had comfortable velvet like seats, and it heated up well during the winters. One day I had spent 14 hours making mix tapes for the stereo so I wouldn't have to listen to the crap they play on the radio, and Stan had helped me out of course. We made every playlist possible- 90's music, Best Girl Power Songs Of All Time, 20 Best Metal Songs of All Time, Good Songs To Listen To When You Drive, and much more.

I parked near a large garbage disposal, and turned of my beautiful car.

Almost immediately after I stepped into the cold, I heard the groaning coming from behind the garbage disposal.

Okay. Now this was low, even for Cartman and Wendy. I leaned against my car door and coughed loudly.

The groans continued.

I chuckled to myself. "You guys are gross!" I laughed bitterly. Disgusting.

No response.

More groaning.

"Help me….. " a meek voice yelped from behind the can. My heart suddenly began to race. What if someone was shot, or being raped?

You'd think i'd have learned my lesson. But no, I had to go investigate.

I tip toed down to the garbage can with great caution. What was I in store for this time?

I turned the corner and peered out of my left eye, then opened both eyes with shock and horror.

Butters, sweet, little, innocent Butters was laying there propped up against the can, one hand over his stomach. He was badly bruised and beaten, and dark blood ran down from the corners of his mouth. His platinum hair was matted down with sweat and something suspiciously gooey..and his legs were covered with scraps and cuts.

He looked up at me with that black eye of his.

"BUTTERS!" I gasped in terror, and immediately began tending to his wounds.

"H-Heya, Kyle." he moaned. I noticed tears falling from his eyes.

"Who did this to you?" I asked, bewildered and angry at the same time.

"T-T-Troy and his gang. Said I needed a p-punishment."

I shook my head, and I could feel my fingers trembling from anger. What kind of assholes were they, to pick on sweet Butters, who would never harm a single fly. Butters, who generously donates all the money he gets to homeless people, Butters who obeys everything anyone says, and has never done a mean thing in his entire life.

He would never fight anyone- and that was the problem.

"That's awful Butters. I'm going to have a word with those boys." I helped him up. "C'mon, let's take care of this." And I lead him inside the building.

The bowling alley was fairly large- and was pretty much new for something in South Park. Almost everything about it was clean, and neon signs decorated the walls. There was a small food court, an arcade, bathrooms and shoe rentals. I worked in the food court, selling nachos and hot dogs. I half carried, half dragged Butters to my manager.

"Mr. Dill." I called, and he turned around, focusing on Butters and then gasping in shock.

"What done do that boy there?"

"He's badly injured. Can I take him to the 1st aid kit?"

"Of course my boy!" He said, and gestured to his office.

Once inside the office, I helped Butters up onto a wooden stool and pulled the 1st aid kit out of the drawer.

"T-Thank you Kyle. It's very kind of you."

"No problem Butters. And if those bullies give you problems again, i'll take care of them."

Butters smiled and wiped his tears with a tissue box I handed him. I bent over a little to rub alcohol on his leg scraps.

"H-Hey Kyle?" Butters asked.

"Yea?"

"Can I ask you something serious?"

"Yea?"

He paused. "Do you think i'd ever be able to get this girl that I like?"

I chuckled. Butters was so open and adorable. "Who's the girl?"

Butters blushed a little and took a deep breath. "Sally Darson."

I laughed. Not at Butters, but at his little crush. They would be perfect for each other- she had one of those cutesy faces, with her orange blonde hair always pulled back in a green scrunchy, with those straight thick bangs and big hazel eyes. She was short too, only about 5'2. She also was gullible but mother-like, giving, sweet and kind. I can recall that she happened to be Butters first kiss back in elementary school.

The only problem was that she was Troy's girlfriend.

Okay, big problem.

"It's j-j-just that she's er, real pretty and nice and I like her. A-a lot ah guess."

I enjoyed hearing about Butter's love triangle.

"Of course you will Butters." I reassured him.

I wish it was this easy for me- that someone could reassure me that i'd be with Stan. That someone could honestly tell me i'd end up with him.

Then my life would be perfect.

But for now, it's not.


	7. Bowling

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski, Chapter 7

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content. Pairings: Style, Candy, Stendy, Benny, ButtersxSally

Hey Everyone! Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and stuff! Please review and favorite if you like it! Thanks so much!

**ALSO: PLEASE READ PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT THING! Okay, so I'm so sorry for the introduction of the 3 new OC bullies of the school, but they were needed for the 3rd minor Butters plot. Also, I revised the girl that Butters will be with. Instead of another OC, I made it Sally Darson, his first kiss. Thanks for listening! Re read the last chapter ending with Sally Darson as an replacement!**

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

"C'mon jew! your making us late!" Kenny joked from my downstairs living room.

"Coming!" I yelled. I couldn't wait to go to the bowling alley and Stan, Kenny and a very grumpy Cartman stood in my living room, yelling at me to hurry the fuck up. But were was my lucky jacket?

So I know this sounds stupid, but I have a lucky green jacket that I have to wear whenever I go bowling. I swear, I haven't lost a single game with it on.

But as I searched my messy room, I realized that my lucky green jacket has seemingly disappeared.

"KYLE!" Kenny and Stan chorused.

"Coming!" I groaned, aggravated that I had to put on a regular dark green corduroy coat.

Oh well. Today was no about winning the game. Today was about the first steps of winning Stan over.

I knew this was going to work. It had to work.

I stumbled down the stairs, nervous. My eyes wandered to my three friends. Kenny looked deviously happy, Stan looked…hot, but Cartman study there angrily with his arms crossed, sulking.

And I can understand why he was being a party popper, he was obviously jealous that his girlfriend was being shared today. He glanced anxiously at Stan, and I saw a glimmer of fear in his dark green eyes.

That's right. Fear in Eric Cartman's eyes.

I smiled and motioned for my friends to follow me out the door. I felt the cold evening air whip my face as I dashed out to my car to start the engine.

"Who wants to go bowling!" Kenny cheered as he climbed in the front seat. He was just happy I was paying for him to come.

"Woo!" Stan and I pumped our fists up and down excitedly as Cartman grumbled to himself.

I began to rive my wonderful car to the alley, whistling nervously most the time. Then Kenny and I started babbling to each other while Cartman stared at Stan the entire duration of the ride.

"We're here!" I announced as I pulled into the parking spot closest to the alley. We all jumped out of the car and carefully shut the delicate doors. I automatically locked my baby, and then we made our way into the warm buzzing alley.

Wow this place was crowded today. There must have been at least half our class there, including Wendy and Bebe competing in one of the lanes to the very right. I quickly said hi to my boss before heading over to the bowling shoes stand with Cartman and Stan. Kenny had disappeared to go talk/flirt/grope Bebe.

"Hey Tom." I said to the employee behind the counter. He just nodded. Dude, he had really hated me ever since I beat him in bowling once. Wearing the jacket of course.

"Um, you know my size." I said. He nodded again in response then pointed to my friends behind me.

God he was being mute today! I turned around to ask Stan and Cartman what their sizes were, but they both looked like they found Wendy at the other side of the building. Great.

"Guys!" I snapped.

They both whipped around, being whisked away from their fantasies back to earth.

"What?" Stan scratched his head. "Oh, I'm a ten."

"Thirteen." Cartman glared down at Tom with one green eye from behind his long dark bangs.

"And we need a twelve. For Kenny."

Tom handed us our shoes, and we all turned in our old shoes, then headed towards our lane near Wendy's. As we attempted to put our shoes on Kenny came over, flushed and happy.

"Thanks." He grabbed his shoes from me. "He do you guys mind if I bowl with Bebe today? I hate not beating her at everything."

"That sounds like a great idea." I finished tying my shoes and stood up.

Wendy and Bebe walked over.

"Hey guys." They said.

Boy, you could feel the awkwardness and tension rising in the room. I looked at Stan, who was swooning at Wendy, who looked concern staring at her gloomy boyfriend, who was silently pleasing that his fears don't become a reality.

"We should all play together." Bebe confirmed.

"We can't." I pressed on, locking eyes with Wendy. "Only four players max in each game."

"…Stan and I can play together." Wendy said dryly. "If that's alright with you, Stan."

Stan looked up at her. "Of course it is!"

After we separated into our designated groups, things got better, but worse. Stan and Wendy were getting along fine, and it looked like their conversations were getting more intense. At one point, Stan put his arm around her shoulder, which was not the best sight for myself. But that was okay, because Stan looked satisfied and so therefore I was satisfied.

Cartman, on the other hand, was in the process of a mental breakdown.

He was getting pretty jumpy, and he drank at least 4 beers and smoked cigarette after another. And whenever it was his turn to go, he would literally chuck the ball so it would go sailing through the air before smacking the lane with a huge bang. Every time he would do that, everyone within a 16 foot radius would cringe.

Eventually, my boss came over, naturally concerned with the state of his nicely waxed lanes.

"What's going on here?" He said angrily.

"I'm trying out a new strategy." Cartman sniffed, a little tipsy.

"Well don't try out your 'strategy' here kid."

"..Too late."

My boss narrowed his eyes, noticing the cigarette in Cartman's hand. "No smoking in the alley please!"

Cartman, being the total douche that he is, put out his cigarette right in the middle of my boss' face.

I stared at him in horror. "CARTMAN!"

"I found an ashtray."

Needless to say, Eric Cartman was kicked out of the lanes for at least the weekend.

Wendy looked over in shock at her boyfriend. There was no doubt in my mind that he was being lectured on his rude conduct later.

Maybe it was the beer that influence his actions..? I rationalized in my head.

No, Cartman would have probably done that anyway.

Moving on, it was probably good that he got kicked out. Now he didn't have to witness Stan and Wendy, which was obviously pissing him off.

By the end of the night, Stan was laughing and bright when he left. I hugged him, Kenny and Bebe goodbye. Wendy and I were the only ones left for a reason. We walked out the door together, talking.

"Did it go well?" I inquired.

"Yea!" She smiled. "I talked to him about how I was sorry about the way I broke up with him, and it wasn't even awkward."

"Good!" I sighed. "Do you think he's over you yet?"

"I don't know..but we're going ice skating tomorrow."

I stopped walking, my jaw hanging open. "What?"

"It's not a real date!" She protested.

"But what about Cartman?"

"Eric doesn't know how to ice skate, and he refuses to learn-"

"No, I mean are you going to tell him? He's gonna be pissed as fuck Wendy!"

"Of course i'm going to tell him! And he should stop being so selfish that I can't attend to his needs every second of the day! I have a life, you know!"

"I know, but…I think it's not about his needs or anything. I think it's more about-"

Wendy sighed, interrupting me. "Wow, I can't believe I had forgotten how nice and polite Stan can be. Being with Eric has made me forget what those things even meant in an relationship."

"Ahh…" I bit my lip. "Well, call m after your..gathering."

"Yep! See ya Kyle!" She waved at me and turned to head to her own car.

I looked back as she arrived at her car. I noticed a dark figure leaning nonchalantly against the side door, head relaxed and cupped in his arms behind his head. His leg was pressing against the car next to Wendy's.

I quickly turned away. Cartman was going to face a lot of disappointment in about five seconds, and for once I didn't want to watch. For some reason it bugged me and made me feel guilty.

I shook the odd feeling away and turned on my car.


	8. Broken Glasses and Popcorn

The Secret Diary Of Kyle Brofslovski

Chapter 8

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.

Pairings: Style, Candy, Stendy Benny Bully (Sally Darson X Butters Stotch, cute right? I could find the actually name for the pairing and I don't think there is one so bully it is!)

OMG YOU GUYS! IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING ON SUNDAY! It's just this chapter is like, important and it took me a while to write. GRR!

Thanks for the favorite and reviews! Yay! Review and favorite if you like it XD

Alvinroxz

XXX

The rest of the weekend flew by in anticipation for Monday to begin. For some reason, I couldn't wait to get to school and find out what happened with Cartman and Wendy. It was funny- this whole thing. It was becoming more like a really bad soap opera that came on weekly, and then after every week it would end with a cliff hanger and then a "Tune in next time!" as the credit started to role.

On Sunday night, I had received a strange call from Wendy Testaburger, as I had requested the night before. Anxiously, I had picked my phone up as soon as it rang.

"Kyle?"

"Wendy! What's up! How did the date go?"

"It wasn't a date…but it went well. Fun. I had loads of fun. Loads."

"Great…So how did Cartman take it?"

"SCREW HIM!" And then she had hung up without any sort of explanation.

So I spent the rest of the night in my room, pacing around, wondering what the hell had gone down after we went bowling. Although, I admittedly enjoyed being anxious for gossip, it certainly got my mind of other things, other drama in my life.

I went to bed that night fully awake, and as you can imagine on Monday morning I was ready extra early.

"Bye mom!" I called as I rushed out the front door for school the next day.

"Oh goodbye bubby! Don't forget the lunch I packed you! It cost money, you know!"

I rolled my eyes. She had said that to me every day since kindergarden. I was starting to believe the jewish stereotypes were true.

"Yes mom!" I trotted down the sidewalk, the fresh air whipping my face so hard I had to hold on to my green hat. As I walked, I stopped focusing on Cartman and Wendy's problems and started focusing on my own.

It would have been a lie to say that last week's party didn't want to make me go home and slit my wrists. But hopefully the plan devised with Wendy will help me- will help him-move on. And who knows? Maybe we might even end up-

I mentally kicked myself for thinking such impossible things. I sadly reminded myself that there was absolutely no way in hell that I would ever, ever, ever end up with Stan. First off, I said to myself, He's straight. Second of all, even if he were gay, then why would he ever chose me over Craig?And thirdly he's still straight. And fourthly, he loves Wendy. And he's straight.

Well hopefully not for long. The Wendy thing, not the straight thing. If it were possible to turn yourself straight to gay or gay to straight, I would have accomplished it by now.

Anyway, it is about time he got over her.

As I neared the school, I looked across the street only to find the lovely Sally Darson. She was wearing a fuzzy white winter coat, black tights, and light blue uggs that matched her light blue butterfly clip. Her orange blonde hair flowed gracefully behind her with every dainty skip she took. Like Wendy, there was an unapproachable aura of confidence about her, which made her stand out against other girls.

I stared at her. I wondered if she knew about Butter's secret crush or the silent love triangle he was caught in? Probably not, Butters is so shy and childish when it comes to things like that.

Hell, Butter's was shy and childish when it came to everything.

I walked up the front steps to the school and heard the bell ring- right on time.

I strolled down a couple hallways before reaching my destination- my locker, 1st floor, corridor 3. This particular hallway was always buzzing with seniors, like me, because a lot of seniors had this hallway for classes.

I cracked my combination and pulled my locker open. It was very neat and orderly, with shelfs that I purchased at Staples, a dry erase board on the inside of the door, a magnetic pencil holder and book holders. I mentally counted all my morning classes- physics, sociology…my eyes began to wander and then they fell on a large body storming through the hallway, and all the students surrounding him parted like how Moses parted the ocean in the Old Testament.

Wow. If there really was a hell, I was going to it for comparing Eric Cartman to Moses.

I reached out and tugged Cartman's sleeve towards me, wanting nothing more than a inside scoop on what happened over the weekend. He stumbled a little when I pulled him, but then quickly regained his posture.

"What do you want, asshole?"

"I looked up at Cartman, surprised. He had on a black sweatshirt, black fingerless gloves, dark jeans, black converse and a black beanie. But probably the most noticeable thing on his face was reflector aviators that completely hid his eyes. Jeez, was he trying to look like the Unabomber*?

"Well, what happened?"

"Huh?"

"_With Wendy?_"

"Oh. That. It doesn't matter." He yawned.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curious.

"I mean,_ Kahl,_ That I don't give two shits about that chick. Now leave me alone."

"So you don't care about the date with Stan?"

"I don't care about how she whore herself out. I don't care about-"

"Whores herself out?" I stared at Cartman's stolid expression. "I don't think that going on a friendly date is exactly-"

"No it's not but It wouldn't matter if it was because I simply don't care. You see, I-"

"So did you guys break up?"

"No, but I wouldn't care if we did. You see, I knew our relationship wouldn't last long anyway, I'm surprised that-"

From behind Cartman I saw Wendy staring up at him, hands on hips, eyes trembling. I tried to lock eyes with her but she kept her unbreakable glance on her boyfriend.

"…I'm surprised we lasted this long. It's funny, it's like I can't believe we even tried to maintain this slowly breaking relationship, we both knew it would never work out. You get it? We just were never meant to-"

"Cartman." I mumbled, still looking at Wendy.

"Be. And I hope we break up soon, I just want to move on to someone better already. And I hope she goes back to _Staaaaannnnn…_" He said, mocking her voice.

"Cartman…" I rose my voice.

"You see? I simply don't care for her. GOD, I hope we break up soon. I just want to forget all of this drama bullshit."

"CARTMAN!" I screamed.

"WHAT!" He yelled.

"SO, YOU WANT TO BREAK UP, HUH?" Wendy accused from behind, her voice wobbling.

Cartman whirled around. "I sure as hell would be fine either way."

"I know you would, since you seem to be dying for someone new!" Wendy bravely said.

"And I know you wouldn't either, since you just love whoring yourself around!"

"Oh just shut up!" Wendy rose her voice, and it rang loud and clear. I noticed a crowd forming around my locker. "You know that I would never do that to you..right?"

"But you did." He snapped. "Yesterday."

"Well." Wendy thrusted her hands on her hips and stuck her nose up high. "It doesn't matter to you, _dear_, anyway! You already knew this relationship wouldn't last!"

"And I was right, wasn't I?" He waltzed right up her her and pressed his nose against hers. "I was right."

Teachers started to come out into the hallways, but none of them did anything. They just stood there and watched. My study hall teacher came out with popcorn and whispered to another teacher, "I've been waiting for this all year. This is going to be good."

Wendy took a deep reassuring breath. "You only saying those things because your jealous. And your jealous because you love me."

A chorus of aww's drew from the audience…along with a couple saying "gross" and "eww".

I took a couple steps back, giving them some room. Did they completely forget about the secret they were trying to keep for over 10 months?

Or did they just not care anymore?

"I loathe you." Cartman hissed. "I despise you. I can't stand you, and anything that you say or anything that you do. You are the lowest form of life on the entire planet. I. HATE. YOU!" He roared in her face. Wendy clutched her books tightly to her chest as he continued to yell.

"And the only reason I ever agreed went out with you was because I thought I could brag to my friends that I was dating Stan's ex girlfriend. BUT NO, then you came up with this stupid plan for GOD who knows why, and that forbid me from doing anything worthwhile, and then I don't even know WHY I continued going out with you! I just felt like lonely and stuff, so I DID!" He clenched his jaws and narrowed his harsh…sunglasses at her.

Everyone around them gasped and began to whisper. I could feel the airborne gossip already spreading throughout the hallways.

Then, it all started with a slap.

An extremely grim Wendy Testaburger threw her books on the ground and smacked Cartman right across his face, leaving a big red mark. It also knocked the sunglasses off and sent them spiraling towards the floor. They smashed into hundreds of fragments that dispersed all over the ground. And along with every other witness, I looked up to see what Cartman was hiding behind those reflectors.

And I was astounded.

His normally calm, cool and collected eyes were red all around, like he had put on obnoxious red eyeshadow or something. But we all knew the reason they were red was from constantly rubbing the everlasting tears away. His eyelashes were dripping wet, and his dark green iris' were especially light and glassy and they they looked like they were throbbing. Dried tears surrounded the lower lash line.

He had been crying.

Eric Cartman, the Emperor of Evil, the King of All Things Racist, Cynical and Horrible, the one who chopped up his own father and fed him to his half brother…had been crying. Crying real, honest tears for another person other than himself. Could you imagine?

"Your lying." Wendy said softly.

And then in one swoop, Cartman sent Wendy flying to the lockers, and she clumsily hit then with a bang and slid down on her back to the floor, groaning. Everyone who was watching started to get rowdy and yell, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Wendy stood up shakily and raised her dukes, locking eyes with Cartman. Cartman cackled and swinged her body against the lockers again, and again, easily as if she was a rag doll.

Wendy got up and screamed and then slammed him in the stomach.

The crowd continued chanting.

Cartman moaned as Wendy punched him in the eye.

I stood there, watching intently. It was so funny how this couple could be having sex one week and punching each other the next.

Cartman threw Wendy on her ass, and then proceeded to sit on top of her, swinging his leg over her so that he would face her. Then he punched her boob.

Every girl in the audience cringed.

Wendy, a surprisingly strong person for a girl her size (5'3) managed to roll over Cartman, pin him down, and kick his nuts as hard as possible. They even made a smack when she kicked them. I sucked in a breath, almost feeling the pain myself. The boys in the audience did the same thing.

Cartman yelped in pain.

Then it was at this time when they stopped dancing around the subject and decided to have an all out battle. Limbs were flying and socking one another, legs were kicking, nails were scratching (mostly Wendy's) and hair was tugging as they totally had it out, right there, on the first floor of the 3rd Corridor, in South Park High School.

It was at this time that the teachers actually did their job and preyed one off another. It took 7 male teachers to hold the tank Eric Cartman back, and 5 to hold the ferocious female fighter Wendy back. Jesus, for a petite girl with absolutely no muscles, she was tough.

Then Cartman, being the asshole he is, threw the teachers off him and sprinted outside. 3 teachers followed him lazily.

I took one last look at sobbing Wendy as she was dragged of to the principals office.

X

YOU LIKE IT? HUH? lol. Reviews are graciously accepted.

*- the Unabomber is an infamous terrorist, who went by the code name the Unabomber. He lived in America and sent bombs threw boxed packages in the mail to unsuspecting victims. He was famous for a portrait done of him by the police station:

.com/imgres?imgurl=.&imgrefurl=.com/navelgazing/2010/05/the_

I compared him to Cartman because Cartman was wearing a similar thing.


	9. The Aftermath

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski

Chapter 9

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.

I have not died…I just seriously have not got the time to update in so long…really it's a fact, not an excuse! I just had testing and midterms, and then vacation for a week and I couldn't go on the internet because of bills and it cost money and stuff so yep =]. Anyways, enjoy this chapter….I have finally forced myself to sit down and write…

Review and Favorite if you like it =]

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

XX

_Monday, April 21st. 9:45 PM, and 34 seconds. _

_Today, I'm positive, will go down in textbooks. _

_But at the same time it was pretty sad to watch._

_Don't get me wrong, the fight was exciting, insane, nerve racking…but at the end of the day it was downright depressing._

_Cartman, after storming away to God knows where, never came back. But I overheard some rumors saying that his punishment of 3 days suspension was already picked out. Wendy only got suspended for the rest of the day, which was a very pleasant punishment considering that she was the one who really got physical first. I guess it was because she was so involved in the school and stuff. _

_As for the rest of the day, every single student was buzzing with excitement and curiosity over the fight. But despite the fact that they practically gave away their big disgusting secret, most of the rumors were just that Cartman was being an asshole again..blah blah blah. Which was true, actually. But of course, there was still wild gossip flying about them hooking up. I even heard one stated Wendy was currently bearing Cartman's son, and when he 'found out' he performed an forced abortion on her. Sweet Moses, it's bewildering at what creative imaginations the students have at South Park High._

_Besides this whole brawl, I encountered a slight problem today. Well it wasn't really a problem, it was more of a disappointment. When I tried talking to Stan in class, he deliberately ignored me, acted as if I wasn't there. I mean, what the heck? Did I do something wrong? I don't know, it's been pestering me this entire time. In fact, I have barely talked to Stan for a week now. And for the first time yesterday we didn't hang out or do anything, not even before or after his..date. That hasn't happened since…well since we met!_

_Did Wendy tell him anything? I swear to god if she did, I'm going to kick her teeth in. Bebe is infamous for being an untrustworthy loud mouth, and if Wendy has developed that trait too…I would absolutely DIE._

_Right now my hands are shaking just thinking about it. I have to ask Stan what happened. _

_In fact, I think i'm going to call him now. Before I explode. _

_-Kyle B. _

I stared at my latest journal entry and sighed. I had to admit it felt good to get all my feelings out, almost like ranting to a therapist or a…best friend.

Speaking of best friends. I pulled out my old crappy phone, a friggin' FLIP phone from the 1800's, because my parents are cheap assholes and gravely believe that a phone from Rite Aid is just as good as the phone from the Verizon store. And it's not even a nice phone, it doesn't even have a screen on the front. And not to mention the paint is peeling, the keys are coming off, and theres a air bubble inside the inner corner of the screen that really pisses me off. Really, phones from Rite Aid are just superb.

What was I going to do again?

Oh yea! I snapped my fingers. Call Stan. Call Stan.

For some reason, my hands started to sweat and my heart started to pump widely as I scrolled down my contact list to The Man, Stan.

What would he say? Did he know?

I dialed the number and held the phone up to my ear, taking a big gulp.

It rung once before Stan's soft, chill voice came over the speakers.

"Hey man!"

"Hey Stan." I smiled. "What' up?"

"Just watching Terrance and Phillip." He laughed. "Can't you tell? What else could I be doing?"

ME! I thought almost like immediately, an instant reaction. I shook my head around, trying to shake all dirty thoughts from my head, and quickly reminded myself that I was on the phone with him and how akward is that?

"Your mom!" I joked. Stan growled, he hated mom jokes more than anything in the world.

I continued talking, calming down a bit and walking over to my bed to lay down on it. "So how did your date with Wendy go?" I asked casually, not trying to seem to jumpy or nosy.

"Good actually. She's cool, you know?" He paused. "It was nice to see her."

"Do you like, feel better about the whole break up and stuff?"

"Yea, She like briefly mentioned that she was sorry about the way she broke up with me. The harshness, you know." Stan sighed over the phone, and I imagined him pursing his lips, like the always did when he was thinking. "We have another date."

"….What?" I choked, trying to not come of as completely mortified.

"I asked her out for another date this morning after that dispute she was in. We're going to Tweek Coffee tomorrow."

"Wow….Good…..for you!" I half laughed, half cried inside. What was going on? It was supposed to be only one date, and then it was done! Stan was over her! But NO!

"Yea. It's kind-of-not-really like old times again."

I repeatedly slapped myself.

"Oh….well do you like her?" I had to ask.

"Honestly, I don't know anymore….I'm so confused…."

"It will all work out…So what else did you talk about?"

"School. Work. Friends." He chuckled.

FRIENDS? I practically died. "Friends like who?"

"Like she just ranted on and on about Heidi being a bitch and Cartman being a selfish douche and stuff."

"….Did you talk about…ME?" I tried to make it sound like I was kidding.

"Yes actually. She mentioned you." He laughed again.

"What did she say!" I inquired.

"Like that you were really nice, sweet,caring,cute and how if she was a gay guy she would go out with you?"

I reminded myself to KILL WENDY TESTABURGER.

"And stuff. She respects you dude. Since when have you been hanging out?"

"Like never." I lied.

I heard him laugh, not taking the situation seriously.

"Hey Stan?" I said, deciding to confront him about my slight problem.

"Yea?"

"Why did you ignore my in class this morning?" I asked softy.

"What…Oh I probably had my headphones in. Sorry dude."

"Oh!" I smiled. "No it's cool."

I could imagine Stan grin over the phone. "Whatever. Hey look, I got to go do my mom okay?"

I laughed, liking the way he incorporated a mom joke just to make me smile.

"Talk to you tomorrow." He said.

"Yea. Tommorow."

"Have a good night, Kyle." And then he hung up.

I currled on my bed and relaxed. I was taking everything way to seriously. I stared at the clock: 11:00, and realized how exhausted I was. I felt my eyelids droop from the drama of today, but I fell asleep smiling.

The next day passed by quickly. I quickly noticed that Cartman still didn't come back, But that was fine since he was suspended anyway.

Wendy was back though, and I everyone crowded around her asking her questions, But she just slowly shook her head back and forth, unwilling to answer any. It was probably for the best. I didn't get a chance to actually talk to her, but she smiled at me sadly in the hallways passing from class to class. She looked awful for someone so pretty, with dark circles under her eyes from pulling an all-nighter, and tangled hair. She wore no make up, and her outfit consisted of a large sweatshirt, probably Cartman's, and old sweatpants tucked inside her pink uggs that didn't match at all. and I actually felt bad so I didn't confront her about what she said to Stan.

Besides Wendy who I didn't talk to, guess who else I didn't talk to? STAN! Again…This time he decided to skip that class and go somewhere for some reason. Was he avoiding me now? I mean after last night's phone chat I didn't think we had any drama. But now it's only making me more confused.

After school, I hopped in my car and drove to work. I sighed as I rolled into my reserved parking spot and got out of the car, bringing my lame uniform to change into.

God this is going to suck, I thought to myself as I walked through the front door.

Practically all the lanes were empty, except for one man in the first lane wearing a dark hoodie, bowling against himself mechanically. He wasn't even attempting to aim, he was just throwing the ball down the lane and watching it roll before picking up the next ball.

I sighed and changed into my uniform in the men's room, which seriously smelt like a crap hole. I wanted to puke so badly, and I rushed to get out of there.

"Hello!" I greeted my manager and saluted him. He grinned and told me to go organize the balls from heaviest to least in each lane.

I started in the first lane, but as I drew closer to that man, I realized it wasn't any ordinary person. It was Cartman.

"Cartman!" I hissed, and he didn't even turn around. Didn't he get kicked out of here for putting his cigarette out on my boss?

"Did you get thrown out of here?" I whispered angrily, standing in front of him now.

"Yep." He said, stolid as fuck. And to top it off he had brand new reflection aviators on.

"Well..?"

"They forgot I guess." He bowled another ball and watched it roll.

"Where did you run away? Are you okay? Have you spoken to Wendy?" Questions flooded out my mouth.

"Home. No, and who fucking cares?" He sniffled as he took another ball from the rack.

"I do. I bet she's worried about you."

"I wouldn't care if she was."

"Yes, you would."

He was silent for a second, and then he aimed and shot the ball down the alley, and it rapidly gained speed as it striked the ballpins. A perfect ten.

"No. I'm just done with her bullshit, you know?"

"But…." I bit my lip. "Don't you care for her at all anymore?"

"No. I hate that bitch. I HATE that bitch. If she died, I wouldn't even flinch." Cartman growled angrily.

I sighed, knowing he was lying. He had to be. Right?

"She's going out with Stan now-"

"GOOD! SEE IF I CARE!" He chucked the next ball down the alley, and it knocked the lane-hard.

"So..moving on…how long is your suspension?"

"three days. Friday I can come back."

The day of the dance, I thought, my heart suddenly racing as I realized I didn't have a date yet. "Are you going to the dance?"

"With Heidi." He said proudly. "I asked her today."

"And she said YES?"

"Shut up Kahl." Cartman mumbled. "At least I have a date, faggot."

I flushed angrily. "SHUT UP!"

"…Who's Wendy bringing?" He asked suddenly.

"Stan probably." I snarled.

"Oh, whatever." He yawned.

"FELLERS! FELLERS!" A high pitched blonde blur ran towards us, and I registered it as Butters. He jumped up and down happily.

"Hey Butters." I greeted him.

"Guess what? S-Sally Darson broke up with Troy!" He smiled grandly and laughed a little.

"That's great Butters!"

"And I got the, well, courage to ask S-Sally Darson to the dance, coming up here. A-And guess what S-Sally said?"

"Wha-"

"Y-Yes!" Butters squealed.

"That's great news Butters!" I felt genuinely happy for him. "At least one of us is happy."

Butters turned to Cartman. "H-Heya Eric! I'm glad your okay now. I, well-"

"Shut up Butters." Cartman said as he bowled another strike.

"Okay!" Butters said happily. "Gee, I have to go Kyle. But I'll see you 'r-round in uh, school." Butters ran off, practically floating.

I chuckled. "Well, Cartman I have to go do my work..okay?"

"Yep."

"Your okay?" Why was I so concerned?

"Yep."

I gave him a half smiled as I went about to my job.


	10. A Really Strange Dream

The Secret Diary of Kyle Brofslovski

Summary: Kyle Broslovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.

Pairings: Candy, Style, SallyxButters( Sutters)

Hey everyone! Yes, i'm getting kind of lazy but whatever! Here's a new chapter, hope you like it XD Please review and favorite if you haven't yet. Enjoy ;]

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XX

"Hey Kyle, pass me that bowling ball." Cartman tapped me on the shoulder and I reached over and handed him a blue ball, straight from a endless line of balls on a wooden table, stretching as far as the horizon.

"Thanks." And he threw the ball down the lane, and it made a soft thump when it hit the floor. "Next."

I handed him the next ball, making another soft sound on impact. "Next."

"Kyle." Stan reached over and patted me on the knee, appearing on the seat across from me from virtually nowhere. "I'm not gay."

I handed Cartman another ball. "I know."

The ball made a slightly louder sound.

"I'm not gay." Stan said again. His voice rose slightly. "I'm not gay, Kyle!"

"Next!'

"I know!" I said loudly. I gave Cartman a ball.

Thump.

"Hey boys." Wendy sat down next to Stan.

"Hi Wendy." We all greeted her.

"Next!"

I handed him a ball.

"I'm not gay. " Stan patted my leg again and gave me a compassionate, sympathic look.

"I know!"

"Stop trying to steal my man, Kyle!" Wendy shouted from out of nowhere.

Thump. Thump.

"He's not your man!"

The thumping increased.

"I'm not gay!"

"SHUT UP!"

"NEXT!"

I plopped a ball in Cartman's hands and glanced at the line of balls on the wooden table. It wasn't getting any shorter.

This time the ball crashed when it hit the ground, and made a loud clanging sound that rung loudly in my ears. I winced.

"I'm not gay!"

"OH HEY CRAIG!" Wendy shouted.

"NEXT!" I handed Cartman a ball and shot a dirty look at Craig, who had taken a seat in Stan's lap.

"I'm not gay." Stan announced as Craig began to kiss the corners of his mouth.

"NEXT!" I covered my ears again, this time it was even louder and the sound was increasing as pounded in my ears.

Wendy stood up quickly. "I hate you Eric!" She accused.

"I hate you too!" And they began to shove each other.

THUMP. THUMP THUMP.

"I'm not gay." Stan looked me dead in the eye.

The thumping, I realized, wasn't the sound the ball made. The clanging and the clashing in my head continued. The balls in the line began to roll of the table.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

"I know Stan." I shook my head sadly.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

"I'm not gay, Kyle. I'm sorry."

Then I screamed.

My eyes flew open and I breathed rapidly in the darkness of my room. I could feel the prespire dripping from my forehead and the back of my neck. I shook it off and sat up.

It was only a dream.

I checked the alarm clock- 3:05 AM. Sniffling, I drudged over to the bathroom and took a white cloth to my neck, dampening it with water. I looked in the mirror as I mopped up the sweat and cooled my self off.

Only a dream.

But my heart was still racing.

I sighed as I look at my reflection. Dark red jew fro, tannish skin, brown eyes…I lifted the hair that covered my face. Not many pimples.

I licked my chapped lips and rubbed vasaline on them and braced myself on the edge of the sink. My heart was still beating like an african drum.

I went downstairs and grabbed a glass of water, then drank it all as I slowly stepped upstairs. I placed the empty glass by my bedside, and drifted back to sleep, forgetting all about the dream.

"Hey Kyle, D-do you suppose I can borrow a uh, PEN of yours?" Butters twiddled his thumbs and stared at me anxiously.

"Of course Butters." I handed him one.

Then I went back to staring at Stan. Who was of course, sitting in the front row.

And not next to me.

"Mr. Stotch?"

Butter's head shot up. "Yes T-teacher?"

The teacher tapped the chalkboard with her wooden pointer. "Solve it. Up here."

"Uh….w-well okay then." Butters stood up shakily and made his way past Troy's desk, and the gang snickered. I clenched my fists. God, I hated those guys.

Butters picked up the chalk with a twitching hand and began squeaking away.

Except it was pretty obvious he didn't know the answer.

Troy sneered then motioned for his friends to come closer.

"Pool ol' Sally." He said. "I can't believe she agreed to a pity date with this moron." He said loudly enough for Butters to hear.

I grinded my teeth back and forth angrily.

Butters froze for a second then put down the chalk slowly.

"I-i'm sorry."

Troys friends laughed as Butters rapidly walked back to his desk, trying to conceal his face. He scooted in next to me and laid his forehead on the desk.

How immature, I thought. God, they behave like catty middle school girls! I gave Troy the death glare, and placed a hand on Butter's shoulder.

"Don't listen to them. Their just insecure and jealous." I said loudly.

Butters smiled at me warily.

Troy looked over and met my killer eyes. "I heard that, Brofslovski."

"I know." I retorted.

Troy's clingy followers started whispering things to their boss, and he looked straight at me, shaking his head slowly. I guess they were trying to scare me. Too bad i'm not scared of The Outsiders.

The bell rang, and I rushed to gather my books so I could meet up with Stan.

But he was out the door before I could say, "I love you."

So I sighed and left the classroom to go to my next class.

After being lectured for an hour about a president that no one gives a shit about, it was time for lunch.

It's kind of sad to say that lunch is my favorite period of the day. Every single day, I go to Hooters with Kenny and Cartman (Stan doesn't have the same lunch period) because they really do have good chicken wings. And women.

Well at least that's what Kenny says.

I wouldn't care because i'm gay.

But Kenny doesn't know that.

So anyway, I met Kenny in the parking lot and he was all pumped and everything, as per usual. And as expected, Cartman wasn't there.

"Don't you have a girlfriend Kenny?" I greeted him.

"…Sort of."

"And she doesn't care that you go to Hooters everyday?" I laughed as we hopped in my beautiful car.

"Nah."

I chuckled as we pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

"Woohoo!" Kenny whooped, excited to see the Hooters girls.

I rolled my eyes.

"Uh…where's Cartman?" Kenny mumbled.

"Suspended until Friday. Didn't you hear?"

"Oh yea…I died that day, so I didn't get the full scoop. What happened?"

"Just another fight with Wendy." I bit my lip.

"Man, they are like, MEANT for each other."

"What?" I gawked.

"They are like, DESTINED to be together."

"….what?" I asked again.

"I mean, think about it. It's like destiny, ya know? I'm surprised they haven't hooked up yet." He continued to mumble.

"Yeah!" I chuckled nervously.

Kenny glanced at me, then at the road.

Did he know! But how? It was almost like he was suspicious of it and wanted to get the details out of me! Did he know I knew?

"Kenny?" I said anxiously.

"Yep?"

"Do you know…" I asked…subtly.

"Know what?"

My eyes went from side to side and I freaked out a little, feigning a laugh and gripping the steering wheel. "The ping pong song! Do you know what it feels like…..Na Na Na Na Na!" I began to hum, forgetting the words to that stupid song!

Kenny laughed." I'm messing with you Kyle." He paused. "Of course I know they are together!"

"Oh!" I felt relieved."How did you find out?"

"Well I saw them….several….dozen times. I called Cartman out on it but he denied everything."

"Yea they don't hide their big secret very well. I joked."

"That fight…was that the breakup?"

"Yes." I confirmed.

"Over what?"

"Wendy went on a date with Stan, and Cartman said some pretty nasty things that she overheard."

"Ahh…."Kenny nodded. "Well, i'm sure they'll get back together."

"Really?"

"Yep. I'm positive." He assured me wisely as we pulled into the Hooters parking lot.

Out in front, I a noticed the small, angry raven haired girl named Wendy protesting.

Of course.

She was holding a sign that read," Hooters sets The Women's Movement back 200 Years!" and she was marching around, screaming angrily like a Nazi.

Kenny and I leaped out of the car. "Wendy!" I called.

"Hi Kyle!" She waved and we met my the front entrance of Hooters. The she frowned, looking at Kenny. "Please don't tell me your eating here!"

I pointed at Kenny. "His idea."

Wendy glared at him, and he shrugged.

"So…Did anyone ask you to the dance on Friday?"

"Yep." She pursed her lips. "Stan did." Then she quickly shot me a sympathic look.

"Oh!" My heart sunk.

"But I don't want to go. I'd just rather use that time doing homework or something."

"What! C'mon Wendy! Go have some fun!" I gave her a playful punch on her arm.

"If you don't want to go with Stan, you can be my date." Kenny batted his eyelashes at her.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Thanks but no thanks. Besides, aren't you taking Bebe?"

"Yea."

Wendy gestured for him to talk more, but he didn't and she narrowed her eyes and turned to me. "Is…Eri-I mean…Cartman coming?"

"Yep." I said. "He has a date."

Wendy's jaw dropped and her shoulders slumped. "Are you serious?"

"Yep. Heidi-"

Wendy's eyes grew dark, and her mouth transformed into a permeant scowl. She ripped the sign she was holding, threw it on the ground, and stalked away.

"Wendy..?" I called after her. But she disappeared around the corner of the street.

Kenny grabbed my arm and dragged me inside the restaurant.

I would not want to be Heidi.


	11. The Day Before The Day After Tomorrow

Secret Diary Of Kyle Broflovski Chapter 11

Summary: Kyle Broflovski has been secretly in love with his best friend for some time now- 7 months, 4 days, 13 hours, 14 minutes, 10.45 seconds- but who's counting? And just when Kyle thinks he can't take it, it's about to get a lot worse. M for sexual content.

Pairings: Candy, Style, SallyxButters, Benny, Stendy, short Staig in early chapter.

Hi people! Yay for updating! I really hope you like this chapter, It's pretty lengthy. A lot happens in it and you don't want to miss that! Also, I want to thank everyone for the reviews and favorites, and especially** XxXSkullCookieXxXSlipknot. **Thanks for your review, It really made my day! I try hard to update, and the reason I haven't been able to is that fanfiction hasn't been working well for my computer lately. It keeps saying, "error etc. Error!" When I try to load the publishing page :/ Stupid . If any staff is reading this, then DO SOMETHING!

Right now i'm typing this on a Sunday, and well see if I can publish it today, if fanfiction doesn't have a mental breakdown. Sorry to go off on a tangent there, please favorite and review if you haven't! Thanks 3

Alvinroxz

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Damn!

XXX

Thursday, April 24th 4:49 PM, and 46 seconds.

Dear Thing,

Haven't been able to write in a long time, sorry if I offended you. Not that you have feelings or anything, I mean your just a piece of fabric, binder together with some paper and ribbons. That would be strange, if you were alive. But in South Park, I guess that's just ordinary.

…I digress.

Anyway, in case your hopelessly lost, the dance is tomorrow. But Stan-or anyone, for that matter- hasn't asked me yet. And they honestly probably won't. But that doesn't mean that I can't go, or that I don't have a valid excuse to go shopping for a tux. Besides I need one anyway for prom in a couple months.

And so here I sit, in a noisy food court in the South Park Shopping Center, scarfing down a hamburger and some fries because I haven't eaten all day. I didn't eat at Hooters, because I was busy on my laptop, typing my english paper and researching Quantum Physics, something that I've been interested in since I was young. It must have been a odd sight, now that I think about it. Kenny drooling over all the women and flirting with anyone he could find, and me huddled in a corner, ranting to myself about science.

Yes, very strange.

Anyway, I have to go find a tuxedo before the stores start to close. You know, in case I ever get asked to anything.

Kyle B.

I shut my journal closed and tossed it in my backpack, then licked my fingers of grease and threw my trash away. As I began to wander around the mall, I window shopped a little, checking the price on tuxedos. 200, 300, even 400 dollars is what one could cost. I scratched my head in awe. I don't have a date, and I'm not going to pay that kind of money. But at the same time, I can't just get a dirty old rental, unknowing if the person before me had herpes or something.

Why was I here again?

I walked sadly through the mall, remembering how Stan and I would come here and do crazy shit on weekends, like performing for random strangers and seeing who could get the biggest brain freeze by drinking smoothies so fast. Back when everything was simple, and I didn't have homosexual feelings for him, and he was still on and of with Wendy, and I lived my life in bliss. Well sort of bliss. Mostly bliss.

I decided to go to some store called "A Night To Remember" which is like all tuxedos and dresses on sale. I hoped down the new staircase and slid down the railing like the kid I am. I stumbled a little when I reached the bottom, but the gathered myself and headed to the store.

My thoughts drifted back to reminiscing, and I began to feel very depressed. What am I thinking? I'm here but I shouldn't be. I'm getting my hopes up to be with Stan but it's never going to happen. I repeated the reasons silently to myself, like I always do. One. He's straight. Two. He loves Wendy.. Three-

I walked into the store and began to search the racks mechanically.

If he was gay, he would be with Craig. Four. If he liked me at all, he would have barfed on me, but he hasn't. Or did he grow out of that phase? Five-

"Are you sure I look okay?" A loud familiar voice echoed through the store. "I feel like this dress makes me look fat. Do you think it means me look fat?"

Bebe.

I walked over to the voice, having nothing better to do then to go say hi.

And sure enough, Bebe was over by the girls section, scrutinizing her appearance in a floor length mirror. Wendy was sitting on a sofa nearby, yawning.

"Yes Bebe! Buy it and let's get out of here."

"Hi!" I greeted Wendy and Bebe, approaching them from behind Wendy.

"OH HI KYLE!" Bebe practically screamed, then yanked me over to the mirror. "Does this dress make me look fat?"

I looked at her incredibly revealing red sparkly dress. It emphasized her curves, but it didn't make her look chubby, it rather slimmed her waist down.

"Uhhhh…." I said awkwardly.

"Bebe, stop bugging Kyle." Wendy tugged me over to the couch. "Have a seat!"

I sat down next to Wendy.

"I'm going to go try this one on." Bebe held up a flawy satin dress. "I'll be right back." And she disappeared beyond the dressing room.

"So Kyle." Wendy turned to me. "Has anyone asked you yet?" I knew what she was hinting at.

"No." I said coldly.

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "What about Stan?"

"Especially not Stan." I sighed. "I actually haven't talked to him in days." I paused. "He really likes you still, I think."

"We went on a date at lunch, and we are going on another one tomorrow and Saturday. Sorry." She blurted out. "But I don't think he likes me, honest. He seems lonely."

My heart sung. I knew she was just making up the last part. "It's okay Wendy. He should like you. Your a great_ girl." _

_"_Yes but even if he did it wouldn't matter." She bit her lip.

"I'M BACK!" Bebe strikes a pose for us. "Ugly isn't it?" She looked in the mirror. "It just doesn't fit me right. You should try this one on, Wendy."

"I'm not going to the dance. You know that."

"Yes you are, for the last time. Stan asked you, so your going."

"No i'm not."

"Yes you are. You are going, even if I have to pry you from your house." Bebe turned around and placed her hands on her hips. "It'll be fun Wendy."

"No it won't! I hate dances. Their so awkward and annoying! Besides, I don't even have a dress."

"Yes you do, this one! Try it on!"

"No." Wendy crossed her arm and leaned into me.

Bebe then did something that I still can't believe- she actually began to undress to make Wendy put the dress on, right here, in the middle of the store. If I was straight, I probably would have melted. But i'm not, so I just shielded my eyes as Bebe stood there in her undies and lacy black bra.

"BEBE!" Wendy snapped. "Put some clothes on!"

"Try on the dress!"

Wendy snatched the dress and threw some clothes at her. "YOUR SCARING KYLE!" She whispered not so quietly, and marched of to the dressing room.

Bebe suited up. "You agree right? That she should go to the dance?"

"Yea I guess." Just not with Stan.

"She never goes out, like ever. She's always cooped up in her room, reading a book or writing poetry." Bebe complained.

"Well, what's wrong with that?" I asked.

"Because it's not fun! I mean, shopping is fun. Having a boyfriend is fun. But Wendy's idea of fun is writing unpublished novels and learning about philosophy and science outside of school. I mean who does that?"

Sounds a lot like me, I thought to myself. "Yea, sounds pretty strange."

Wendy marched out of the dressing room and crossed her arms. "Are you happy now?"

I looked at the dress. It was jaw dropping. The top part was a darkish blue, ending right above her waist. and it had big straps that tightened around her arms, and then curved, revealing her breasts, Then slimmed above her waist, then the satin flowed freely around her hips and reached the floor. The bottom part was a light blue, with sparkles on it like the stars, and there were multiple layers to the bottom part of the dress, some shorter than others, flowing diagonally across her body.

"Your buying that." Bebe demanded. "YOU. LOOK. AMAZING."

Wendy studied her appearance in the mirror. "But it's 400 dollars, and I don't have that kind of money. I only have 300 on me."

"I'll give you 100. Just pay me back." Bebe unzipped her purse.

"No, Bebe I couldn't.." Wendy shook her head as Bebe's phone began to rang. She flipped it open urgently.

"Hey Kenny!" She giggled. "Where are you at?"

Her smile slowly turned into a frown. "The hospital? Why…?"

Wendy began to admire herself in the mirror.

"NO. Are you-?" "Is she okay? A bus, I can't believe it!"

My eyes grew large as i pieced the conversation together. Heidi Turner was hit by a bus? Not that I give a shit about Heidi Turner, but wasn't she going to go with-

A lightbulb went of in my head as I stared over at Wendy. She saw me staring at her from the behind he mirror, and she stared back at my reflection, a slow sadistic grin spreading across her face.

Holy shit dude!

"Yes! Yes! Of course! I'll be right here!" Bebe snapped her phone shut. "Heidi was hit by a bus can you believe it! She's in a full body cast!"

"Oh my!" Wendy faked concern.

My eyes wider with shock.

"I know! She's in my cheer squad. I hope she's okay! I'm going to go see her now." Bebe bit her lip. "Okay, go get me the dress Wendy. We have to go."

"But Bebe-"

"Just pay me back!"

"Are you-"

"WENDY!"

"Okay! Okay!" Wendy rushed of to the dressing room.

Bebe sat down on the couch and sighed.

"Is everyone over at the hospital?" I asked.

"Yes. You should come too. I'm sure Heidi would appreciate it."

"Yea, i'll come." Not to pay respects to Heidi, but to see how this drama is going to pan out.

Wendy came out of the dressing room quickly, fully clothed, and handed Bebe the dress. "Thanks so much dear." Wendy said as the three of us began to walk to the cash register. "Are you getting the red sparkly dress?"

"Yes. God I just feel bad for Heidi. She was looking forward to going to the dance."

"I know she was." Wendy smiled.

"I mean even if it was Cartman, at least she had a date. She really likes to dance-"

"What's wrong with Cartman?" Wendy interrupted.

"What's wrong with Cartman.." Bebe raised an eyebrow, repeating the question with astoundment. "You of people should say that."

"I mean I HATE him. I super hate him. But like he's cute..ish right? I mean he's like ugly cute don't you think?" Wendy began to blabbed, and I started to try and hold in my laughter.

"Not really. He's mean and depressing and lonely. He's going to die alone."

Wendy looked incredibly offended and hurt but she didn't say anything.

Bebe payed for Wendy's dress, and the three of us headed to the hospital.

XXX

"Right this way kids." The nurse with the missing arms lead us down the hallways of Hell's Pass Hospital. "Little Heidi Turner is going to hopefully recover, but probably not for a couple weeks."

Wendy beamed.

The nurse stopped in front of a door marked 304- Turner, Heidi.

"Here you are. Visiting hours close in about an hour." And she ran off.

I opened the door, only to see Kenny, Cartman, Stan and Butters hovered over her bed. Kenny held out his arms for Bebe, and she hugged him, it was obvious he was only here for here. Butters was watering the flowers on her nightstand and Cartman was standing there with his arms crossed, looking extremely pissed off. Stan caught my eye, and I lifted my hand to wave, but then he looked frightened and averted his eyes to Wendy and smiled. I put my hand down sadly and stood at the foot rest of the bed.

Wendy joined Stan, taking his hand, making me barf a little.

Heidi was, as expected, in a full body cast, one leg hung up by a contraption. She was sleeping soundly. Wendy admired her work, touching the cast on her head, and running her fingers along the right side of her body.

"Stupid clumsy bitch." Cartman said allowed to break the tension.

"She was always the worst on our squad." Bebe whispered to Kenny.

"It's not fair." Cartman kicked the bed. "Why does this always happen to me? What did I ever do to anyone?" He threw his arms up and stormed out of the room.

"What an ironic question." I commented as he left the room. Wendy snorted and her eyes ran back and forth.

"Nah, I feel bad for him. I mean he never gets dates. And when he does, the person always turns out to be a cheating bitch." Kenny actually said that, and looked at Wendy, her jaw dropping as he followed Cartman out. Bebe followed him.

Wendy shot me a look, like could you believe what he just said? I shrugged.

I stood there awkwardly, wanting to say something to Stan but not knowingly what to say. I mean he is my Super Best Friend after all. Why is he ignoring me? My shoulder drooped as I glanced at him from underneath my green hat.

"Lets get out of here." Stan tugged on Wendy's hand. "Hospitals creep me out."

I watched them leave sadly.

"So I guess it's just me and you Butters." I sighed.

"U-u-u-uhhh not for long! I have to go home o-other wise my parents will, uh, ground me!" Butters left in a rush.

I stood alone over the hospital bed for a second. I remember that one time I was in the hospital, in need of replacement of a kidney. But the only kid in town who shared my blood type was Cartman, and he wouldn't give his up, I thought I was going to die. But then Stan went through all this trouble to save me and I woke up one morning with a new kidney. And then he told me that I was his best friend and he didn't want me to die until he did.

I smiled, remembering how good I felt.

But does he still feel that way? Does he still want to be my best friend? Because I think just as long as were still best friends, it wouldn't matter to me if we were in a relationship or not. I feel like i'm losing him..and I just want my best friend back.

I braced myself on the bed and cried silently.

No Kyle, I told myself. Not here.

I wiped my eyes and my runny nose, then sauntered out of the room, with my hands in my pockets and my head down. I need a drink.

But in the front hallway, everyone was gathered, arguing.

I tapped Wendy on the shoulder, who was standing outside the circle.

"What's going on?"

"Bebe asked Cartman to the dance for some reason. And now Kenny's upset and told Bebe he's taking his ex Porshe. And also Cartman broke a vase on his rampage and is upset because he has to pay for it. And i'm going to the dance with Stan, I told him yes."

"Oh." I said meekly. "Why did Bebe-"

"I don't know!" Wendy said, obviously upset. The argument between Bebe, Kenny, Cartman and the owner of the hospital who really happened to like that vase grew louder and louder.

I sighed and walked away, leaving my friends to argue.


End file.
